Here are two drawings I made when I was coping with Post-traumatic stress in the mid 1970s. I chose them because they convey some of what I’m feeling these days. Lying in bed at night, awaiting sleep, I am discovering an old breath pattern in which I hold my head and face rigid, especially my jaw. I literally find myself holding my breath. I believe that I learned this body restriction when strapped down for surgery as an infant.
As I move to a place of greater agency in my life, I am being shown what is limiting me and what I need to let go of. I am being invited to change my old habits. In my heart, I now know that I am free; it’s just a matter of helping my body and brain to know this, too. In bed at night, saying the affirmation I am safe allows breath into previously off-limits places. I am making progress. In my meditation this morning, I saw two furry animals, one brown and one black. They were young bears, crawling under a chain link fence, flowing like water. I’m getting somewhere.