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Thank You, Amygdala, My Protector

To My Protector

 

Oh my beautiful shark, sleep now.

Rest as I stroke you. Snooze. You

have done your job all these years.

You have struck decisively, warned me,

kept me alive. Even in sleep, your fish-eye—

naked, ruthless, wide

open.

 

You have attacked more than needed,

heard the ancient threats, real

though not. Your terrible teeth

tore at what we feared—death.

 

No need for striking now. Sleep

in the suffusing oxygen of my amygdala

assured you have served well.

 

As for me,

I understand why you stayed so long.

But sleep now, friend.

Retire into the gentle hum—cave

of violet light.

 

Do not miss me

or mourn

as I swim from your side

where all these loyal years

I have floated, afraid of ocean-vast.

 

A curtain of golden green

light beckons where below, lobes

of algae sway in currents. And from there,

 

I kick into distance I cannot measure.

Can We Free Ourselves from PTS Prison?

Talking with folks about PTS, those who have it and those who don’t, I get the feeling that, in general, people believe that those with PTSD will just have to live with it the rest of their lives. Or, folks are a tiny bit hopeful that they or someone can change but don’t really believe… Continue Reading

Just Above Water: Reading Revolutionary Research in Pediatric Medicine

I’m sitting in my well-let living room on a Sunday morning on a hard folding chair, hoping both the light and non-comfy seat will keep me on task: reading the seminal article “Pain and its Effects in the Human Neonate and Fetus” by Dr. K.J.S Anand and Dr. P.R. Hickey published in the New England Journal of Medicine in… Continue Reading

Draw what bubbles up

I was 25 years old, lying in sand by the Pacific Ocean. I had come to the sea to kill myself, depressed again after so many years of trying to make my life work since my suicide attempt at age 21. But I just couldn’t bring myself to harm; I had grown. So I drew… Continue Reading

Newly Wired or The PTSD Moment I Didn't Have

I’ve changed. My brain has changed!  It’s true. I overrode my automatic Post-traumatic Stress response last night. There I was lying in bed, enjoying an Esther and Jerry Hicks video, when I noticed the LED light behind me reflected onto my computer screen. Freak out!  That round, bright light hovering over me (the computer was on… Continue Reading

"Childhood Trauma . . . How 'States' Become 'Traits'"

An article by Dr. Bruce D. Perry et al is a must-read for all those trying to understand the impact of infant trauma on a person’s life:  “Childhood Trauma, The Neurobiology of Adaptation, and ‘Use-dependent’ Development of the Brain: How ‘States’ Become ‘Traits.’” I became interested in this article because I believe that there are… Continue Reading

Addiction – A Way to Cope with PTS

In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts –  Close Encounters with Addiction,  a book by Dr. Gabor Maté, provides new information about addiction. “He locates the source of addictions in the trauma of an emotionally empty childhood, making it a relational rather than a medical problem,” according to Dr. Harville Hendrix. Maté contends that our brain… Continue Reading