Category Archives: affirmations

We are not our PTSD

but we have been shaped by it. Case in point: Dead Girl. That’s what I call this photo, my high school graduation picture. To my mind, there is no joy or aliveness in my face. There is image–who I was supposed to be. A mask. Was I happy to graduate? Sad? Full of pride?  Fear?…

Off to the Healing Art of Writing Workshop!

I’m off to The Healing Art of Writing Workshop at Dominican University in San Rafael, California, a city in Marin County just north of San Francisco. I am hoping to make some strong connections with other writers and healers, affirm my dedication to writing, revel in the company of writers and artists who are devoted to…

A Prayer and A Poem

I just turned in the grades for the four English classes I have taught this spring at the College of Alameda. It’s a great feeling. I’ve done my best and learned a lot. Now, I’m retired, turning a page. Here’s a recent journal entry dated May 21 that speaks to where I am spiritually and…

Time for a Nap

For the first time in my life, I took a nap. Yes, that’s right–the first time ever. As far back as I can remember, I have never napped. I would even go so far as to call myself nap-phobic. Napping was childish. Napping was silly. More honestly, I simply couldn’t do it though I’d tried….

What Survivors of Infant Trauma Need

People who’ve suffered trauma early in life often experience a difficult relationship with their bodies. We can feel like prisoners in our own skin. The pain was probably too much. Perhaps the way we were handled was traumatic. Maybe we were even forced into uncomfortable and restricting positions in order to undergo a surgery or…

Waking Up

The best time to learn about how I really feel about myself and my life is when I first wake up. The other morning, I heard these words: It’s hard to be a Wendy. Immediately, I turned them around. It’s easy to be a Wendy. Then I heard another thought: It’s easy to love a Wendy.  How good…

The Divine Self: Believing What Is

When I graduated from college, my cousin sent me a doll in the mail. Without knowing why, I immediately took the scissors and magic markers to it. I snipped off the white yarn hair and drew a recored of my abuses onto its body. My eyes are black tear drops, my jaw is aflame from…

On my Head

Here are two drawings I made when I was coping with Post-traumatic stress in the mid 1970s. I chose them because they convey some of what I’m feeling these days. Lying in bed at night, awaiting sleep, I am discovering an old breath pattern in which I hold my head and face rigid, especially my jaw….

A Ceremony: Healing from Post-traumatic Stress

For those of us who’ve had a major trauma as babies and still suffer from post-traumatic stress (PTS) as adults, a ceremony may be in order–a ritual of some sort for the self that says, I am safe now and can live my body without fear. My body is a place of comfort. Each morning,…

Fear Brain / Flower Brain

I was raised on fear: fear of falling, fear of drowning, fear of being snatched by a stranger luring me with candy. Fear of my father’s anger, fear of my mother’s rejection, fear of failing in school, fear of humiliation from classmates. Fear, fear, fear. Fear of being me–if I’m me, I won’t be loved;…