What was done to you was crazy! You are not.

Do you wonder why you are unhappy? Do you feel tense? Have you tried in many different ways to feel happy over the years but still feel unsettled?  When sitting quietly, are you ready to defend? Is your body walled off, protecting against something, but you know not what? Maybe you are still embroiled in the symptoms of…

Fly without Wings

A fly is drowning in water. You want to save it. But as you lift it out, you damage its wings. It can no longer fly but yes, you saved its life. It walks away and hides under a leaf. This is what life is like after infant surgery without anesthesia at one-month-old.  I recovered from…

EMDR–Not Just for One-time Traumas

Sometimes when I post about the positive effects I’ve experienced in therapy with EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, someone inevitably comments that EMDR works for a one-time trauma, such as a car accident, but not on trauma that had been sustained over a longer period, such as childhood sexual abuse. This is simply…

In EMDR, Butterfly Sends Away Moth : Good-bye, Death

Here is Moth Baby, my colored pencil drawing, 1997. The feathery antennae, the bulky body, wings folded, no legs, pink face of a human baby. The lines across her segmented body mirror the stitch-marks of my scar from my surgery at 26 days old for pyloric stenosis, a stomach blockage. For me, moths have always been…

Don’t Distress. Effervesce with EMDR!

I wrote a draft of this post a few days ago which is already obsolete. That’s the power of EMDR. Backstory: Each morning after making my bed, stretching, letting the ducks out of their cages, and pouring a cup of green tea, I sit for meditation. By this time, I’m sufficiently super-tensed. Why?  That’s the…

Core Beliefs: What do You Believe about Yourself?

As a survivor of infant surgery without anesthesia, suffering pushed me to dig deeply, looking for answers. In the process of writing my memoir manuscript The Autobiography of a Sea Creature, Coming Home to My Body after Infant Surgery, I hit a vein of precious stones: I didn’t work. This core belief had been misinforming me about myself…

Images Key to Unlocking Preverbal Trauma

My pastel “Self-Hate,” on display at the Sacramento Poetry Center this month, along with two others of mine and those of eight other artists who also write as part of Jennifer O’Neill Pickering’s Sable & Quill exhibit, is an expression of the feelings I felt about my body and about life in general, especially as…

In Retrospect: The Meaning of an Early Image

As the end of 2015 approaches, I am pondering a poem I wrote over a decade ago about my reason for writing Autobiography of a Sea Creature, Coming Home to My Body after Infant Surgery, my memoir manuscript for which I am seeking a publisher. The poem is entitled “The Calling”: Accept thy shadow as…

I’m fixed! EMDR, Somatic Freeze, and Early Trauma

Much to my delight, EMDR is slowly eroding some deeply held somatic patterns. I had my doubts it could work on trauma held in my body for over six decades. But in time, I am changing. I am recognizing more quickly when I’m in a freeze and learning how to disengage from it in a self-caring way. What…

Are Your Symptoms due to Infant Surgical Trauma ?

The following material is taken from psychiatrist Dr. Louis Tinnin’s former blog. The material was removed from the Internet after his passing last year, but I think it’s important for the public to have access to it. I called Intensive Trauma Therapy, Inc. in Morgantown, West Virginia (ITT) and asked the staff to repost the material. I…