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Do You Think You are Crazy?

Think again–

maybe you had surgery without anesthesia as a baby.

Do you wonder why

it’s hard to be intimate with someone,

hypervigilance charging your cells?

Maybe you had surgery without anesthesia as a baby.

Do you wonder why

you don’t know whether

to live or die–

Maybe you had infant surgery without anesthesia.

Do you wonder why

you often feel helpless and stuck?

Do you wonder why

you’re addicted to food, booze, drugs or self-harm or all four?

Maybe you had surgery without anesthesia as a baby.

Did you?

Do you wonder why you fall, fell, and keep getting up, only to fall again?

Maybe you had infant surgery without anesthesia.

Do you wonder, what’s wrong with me? I can’t seem to succeed.

Just maybe, you were tortured as a baby

and you never allowed yourself to feel the rage, the terror.

Maybe you just switched off the feel button.

Maybe you locked into numb.

But truth is, you were traumatized as a baby and your crazy fucked-up roller coaster life of up and down and all around fall get-up is just a normal response to unresolved, unacknowledged trauma.

Maybe, just maybe, you are a trauma survivor, craving recovery, but don’t know it.

You were just a baby when the surgery or procedure or condition occurred. Your parents assumed you had anesthesia. Whether to give it or withhold it wasn’t on the consent from.

Maybe, just maybe, you had surgery without anesthesia as a baby.

NOTE: It wasn’t until the 1980s that babies undergoing surgery began being given anesthesia. For more information about this, go to my archives and search this term: infant surgery without anesthesia. Or paste this URL into your browser: < differentdream.com/2011/03/can-you-imagine-infant-surgery-without-anesthesia> . You can also go to my blogroll and click on SIS (Surviving Infant Surgery) and search this term: infant surgery without anesthesia.

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