Monthly Archives: October 2011

2 poems

Post PTS Me Will the real me please stand up! No, not that hypervigilant rabbit. The real Wendy No, not that self-effacing nobody. The real Wendy Not the one who reaches out to others in learned helplessness. Where is Wendy free of trauma? Is there such a one? Can I ever truly know me, sans…

The Mystery of the Missing Information

I feel my heart rate increasing, like a detective getting closer to the whereabouts of the culprit—the current way in which the chemistry of my brain works due to the trauma of infant surgery without anesthesia. I just read a paper entitled, “Working with the Neurobiological Legacy of Early Trauma” by Dr. Janina Fisher, a…

To Form a Question

Sometimes, in order to ask a question one needs vocabulary–amygdala, neurobiology, the biochemistry of trauma–phrases that position tongue in mouth. Sometimes, exposure to an idea must be repeated before one can edge to the lip of the platform and sail off into the water below. Again and again, we step to the ledge, pause, wait,…

Understanding Infant Surgery: Explaining Ourselves to Ourselves

I’ve been listening to an Audio Course “Biology and Human Behavior: The Neurological Origins of Individuality” in which Dr. Robert Sapolsky, a scientist from Stanford University, discusses some of the latest discoveries in neurobiology. In the lecture about two nuerons (brain cells) communicating, he said that Curare (the drug that was typically used in the…

After Meditation, My Body Speaks a Poem

Do not be afraid of me. I am your body, your smell. I soothe you. Come close, inhale, comfort yourself.   Do not be afraid. Not like your mother who would not bury her face in your baby belly, afraid you’d pop and go dead.   Let love press its face into your gut, your…