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Waking Up

The best time to learn about how I really feel about myself and my life is when I first wake up. The other morning, I heard these words: It’s hard to be a Wendy. Immediately, I turned them around. It’s easy to be a Wendy. Then I heard another thought: It’s easy to love a Wendy.  How good this felt!

Growing up, my brother would say it’s hard to be a Wendy in a sarcastic way whenever he saw me having a hard time. In the aftermath of his comment, I felt enormous guilt about all the trouble my early illness had caused my family. My parents were so overwhelmed by my needs after the surgery that my brother was often ignored. Ultimately, they shipped him off to my aunt and uncle’s home while I recovered. I’m sure at that point it was hard to be a Wayne. That period was a challenge for all of us. But why not unite behind a difficult time rather than divide?

Obviously, I bought into it’s hard to be a Wendy. Over time, it came to mean that nothing comes easy to me. Everything is hard and I make things unnecessarily difficult on everyone around me. Well, had I died, life for my family would have really been hard. Where was that message about what a beautiful survivor I was, strong enough to fight the biggest battle and win?

It’s up to me to give myself this message. At age 59, I am learning about the pleasure of being a Wendy. The honor of being a Wendy. The sacredness of being a Wendy. Loving myself is the greatest feeling ever. I’m so grateful that I’ve lived long enough to really experience this love for myself. It’s been a long road, but the double rainbow is overhead and I am the treasure.

0 Responses to Waking Up

  1. Wendy, I appreciate how you explore this topic–the messages we send ourselves–from multiple perspectives. It seems to me that once we take on an inside/outside, 360 degree view of an events, then we can dismantle unhealthy self-talk and open up to the wonder of our being. I really enjoyed this post.

    • I’m glad this post spoke to you. The “wonder of our being” is so great and it’s incredibly important to “dismantle” old beliefs that hold us back from being happy, joyful and appreciative of self.

  2. Wendy, I appreciate how you explore this topic–the messages we send ourselves–from multiple perspectives. It seems to me that once we take on an inside/outside, 360 degree view of an events, then we can dismantle unhealthy self-talk and open up to the wonder of our being. I really enjoyed this post.

    • I’m glad this post spoke to you. The “wonder of our being” is so great and it’s incredibly important to “dismantle” old beliefs that hold us back from being happy, joyful and appreciative of self.

  3. Learning to love and appreciate yourself is a hard thing to do. I use to be overweight when I was a child, so my self-esteem would be very low. As I kept reading your blog it makes me feel better that you learned to love yourself in a way that you can only do.

  4. Learning to love and appreciate yourself is a hard thing to do. I use to be overweight when I was a child, so my self-esteem would be very low. As I kept reading your blog it makes me feel better that you learned to love yourself in a way that you can only do.

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