I first heard of Emilie Conrad D’Oud and Continuum, a form of bodywork, years ago from my writing coach. When she read passages of my memoir manuscript, The Autobiography of a Sea Creature, about how I’d been taught to restrict my movements as a baby after surgery, she told me about D’Oud’s work. Since I’d missed out on making many of the exploratory motions that babies typically engage in during their first months of life, she thought that this type of bodywork would help free me.
Recently, a friend who is a Reiki practitioner reminded me about D’Oud’s work, suggesting that some of the movements she promotes could help me in the healing of my head injury. So I watched several video clips and listened to some tapes that introduce the concepts of Continuum. Here are two links where you can access D’Oud’s wisdom about fear and fluidity. I hope this information helps you think about trauma and the body in new ways. Understanding the body’s response to fear can help us let it go. What will take its place? Trust, love and light.
When I read the passage “taught to restrict my movements as a baby” I thought of how we are often taught to restrict our emotions and repress our traumas especially in the context of hospitalization and medical treatments. As I spent 20 years going through invasive, violating and painful procedures and surgeries with my sister, we (especially woman) often remain silent, even frozen, in the face of surgeons and doctors. More over, the power play between patient and doctor is so imbalanced that I often felt myself holding my entire heart, voice and body hostage under these unspoken agreements as I watched horrible neglectful “medical acts” happen that in any other context, would be criminal, torturous and punishable by law. You as a restrained baby somehow felt like the perfect metaphor for how I often felt. The context of the medical industry, especially concerning life-saving treatments and major surgery, seems to be that any spiritual, physical, emotional violation can occur freely so long as the body is repaired. When is it ever okay to restrain a baby without properly medicating and managing pain? It is sad that a major advancement in recovery is that for roughly 20 years, we now recognize that the body needs this kind of pain management. The rest of the human embodiment is still free to be violated with no proportionality or consideration, or at least, very little consideration. With hospitalization on a steep rise, I can’t imagine the collective spiritual damage that is currently happening. That is where blogs like this open up healing avenues of education, experiences and resources. I really enjoy going through all the links and gaining new insights on my internal processes (or lack thereof). Thank you, it’s healing to have a safe space to share and get feedback. It helps take that fear and make it more fluid.
I feel your anger and your pain. The fury is huge indeed. I spent my entire teen years unconsciously acting out this fury. Years later, my teacher, who later became the principal of the school, said to me, “It was as if you wanted to burn the school down and take everybody with you.” Yes, I did. My baby, me, who was restrained and tortured, wanted to torch the world. But I didn’t know why. I am so glad, Liz, that you have this outlet here and we can build a relationship. We can support each other. Often in my life, I wanted to die. The “repair” was NOT worth it. What was done in order to “repair” wounded me so deeply that I questioned the plus of the surgery–my survival. Treating the whole person is essential. What surgeon would want his patient to kill herself after saving her life? Awakened care is what we must evolve into. Creating trauma in treating sickness must be avoided as much as possible. The post-traumatic stress, not only of the afflicted but his or her family, must be addressed. I am so sorry for your pain. Thank you for speaking it here with such clarity and understanding. Your words affirm many. Your words affirm my experience and what I am addressing in this blog.
When I read the passage “taught to restrict my movements as a baby” I thought of how we are often taught to restrict our emotions and repress our traumas especially in the context of hospitalization and medical treatments. As I spent 20 years going through invasive, violating and painful procedures and surgeries with my sister, we (especially woman) often remain silent, even frozen, in the face of surgeons and doctors. More over, the power play between patient and doctor is so imbalanced that I often felt myself holding my entire heart, voice and body hostage under these unspoken agreements as I watched horrible neglectful “medical acts” happen that in any other context, would be criminal, torturous and punishable by law. You as a restrained baby somehow felt like the perfect metaphor for how I often felt. The context of the medical industry, especially concerning life-saving treatments and major surgery, seems to be that any spiritual, physical, emotional violation can occur freely so long as the body is repaired. When is it ever okay to restrain a baby without properly medicating and managing pain? It is sad that a major advancement in recovery is that for roughly 20 years, we now recognize that the body needs this kind of pain management. The rest of the human embodiment is still free to be violated with no proportionality or consideration, or at least, very little consideration. With hospitalization on a steep rise, I can’t imagine the collective spiritual damage that is currently happening. That is where blogs like this open up healing avenues of education, experiences and resources. I really enjoy going through all the links and gaining new insights on my internal processes (or lack thereof). Thank you, it’s healing to have a safe space to share and get feedback. It helps take that fear and make it more fluid.
I feel your anger and your pain. The fury is huge indeed. I spent my entire teen years unconsciously acting out this fury. Years later, my teacher, who later became the principal of the school, said to me, “It was as if you wanted to burn the school down and take everybody with you.” Yes, I did. My baby, me, who was restrained and tortured, wanted to torch the world. But I didn’t know why. I am so glad, Liz, that you have this outlet here and we can build a relationship. We can support each other. Often in my life, I wanted to die. The “repair” was NOT worth it. What was done in order to “repair” wounded me so deeply that I questioned the plus of the surgery–my survival. Treating the whole person is essential. What surgeon would want his patient to kill herself after saving her life? Awakened care is what we must evolve into. Creating trauma in treating sickness must be avoided as much as possible. The post-traumatic stress, not only of the afflicted but his or her family, must be addressed. I am so sorry for your pain. Thank you for speaking it here with such clarity and understanding. Your words affirm many. Your words affirm my experience and what I am addressing in this blog.