Egg as Friend

Last week, ice-skating with a friend, I fell and hit my head. What an egg I got!  I’m a good skater and the fall was a big surprise. The next day, I felt light-headed and my vision was unfocused. My head was sore. I was ultra sensitive to light and had difficulty concentrating. I easily tired after working a short time on the computer and could barely focus on reading. I panicked–it’s finals time at school and I have so much mental work to get done!

But then in my meditation, I had an insight: You’ve got to make that egg a friend. I allowed myself to get past my fear and to sense the egg on my head. I imagined the bruise; it was yellow and purple and needed my attention. I sent it some soft, warm, healing light and immediately, I began to feel better. Insight upon insight followed. The injury was connected to my brother’s sudden death in November. I was not allowing time enough to grieve. I’d been racing around for school, teaching four classes, reading essays and homework, writing a blog twice a week, taking care of my home, and commuting to work, etc., etc. Where was the down time I needed to listen to music or find peace in nature?   Where was the stillness to process my loss?  I had been doing some of these things but obviously not enough. This injury to my head was a message–slow down. Less focus on head activities and more on emotions.

The tears came, bushels of them. Tears for the loss of my brother and tears for the loss of my mother in 2007. I sobbed and sobbed. It felt good. I realized I had forgotten to call the hospital to find out whether it offered a grief group as I had planned. I had never taken that day off from school as I had hoped to get some bodywork. Once the egg became a friend instead of an enemy to be feared, I understood how to care for myself. Egg as healer. Our wounds are teachers.