Monthly Archives: March 2011

DepressionBrain

I’ve got the study of the brain on the brain. I am reading the book The Brain that Changes Itself, mentioned in my last post “In Our Eyes,” and scrutinizing my old artwork with new eyes. Here are two pictures I drew (ink on paper) in 1976, trying to make sense of my depression. The first,…

In Our Eyes

Lately, I am wondering how my brain handled infant surgery without anesthesia. How had it coped with the extreme pain?  What was lost, if anything?  Is part of my brain in freeze mode, lying in wait until a princess happens by and kisses it awake? I don’t know much about the brain, but I do…

I Have to Keep Pinching Myself

I don’t know for sure whether I was given anesthesia for my pyloric stenosis surgery at 26 days old. I don’t know for sure that I was, instead, given  a form of curare, a drug that paralyzed my muscles so I wouldn’t fight. My hospital records are gone, kaput. I just know that: –I wake…

A Lesson in Medical Humanities

Thank you English 1A Composition students at the College of Alameda for reading and commenting on my blog. It was wonderful to get to know you better through your responses to my posts and our discussions in class. I am looking forward to reading the essays that you wrote in response to a medical humanities…

Shrimp Baby and Star Baby

Shrimp Baby Emerges is the name of this colored-pencil drawing. I completed it over ten years ago, just before starting to write the first draft of my memoir manuscript The Autobiography of a Sea Creature, the story of my life in the aftermath of infant surgery without anesthesia. I see that I am a bit tentative…

Message from the Universe II

Driving to work the other day, I had an epiphany. That though Sidra, the dolphin I blogged about a few posts ago, was sick (a fact I had not mentioned), she emanated love, acceptance, and grace; she was strong despite her illness and in her vulnerability gave so much. I cried thinking about this. Illness…

Steps to Take on the Path to Ease and Joy

How can survivors of infant surgery and/or invasive medical procedures performed without anesthesia begin to move away from a lifetime of re-enacting symptoms of trauma and move toward a lifetime of experiencing health, fulfillment, and joy?  How can we get our pain, anger, and confusion out so that we can feel peace, clarity, and compassion?…

Are You Afraid of Your Body?

In my last post, I presented Dr. Louis Tinnin’s questionnaire, which helps people determine whether a medical procedure or surgery they experienced in infancy affects them today. As a survivor of infant surgery, here’s my layperson’s questionnaire. The intent is similar to Dr. Tinnin’s. If you’ve had an invasive medical procedure and/or a surgery as…