In therapy in 1978, I was finding the courage to go beyond my fears and look inside. I was learning about the messages I received as an infant and as a child in my family. I was learning to express my real self. At that time, I set an avocado seed into water. Toothpicks held the seed in place, half submerged. It was a hopeful gesture. In my watercolor painting of the seed above (sans toothpicks), it looks as if a brain is emerging from a small bowl. An eye is visible, a mouth. I am finding my way into the light. I am breaking free of the subterranean forces.
Watching that seed grow day after day gave me so much joy. When it sprouted, I marveled. Planting it into a pot thrilled me. I had sent out roots and was taking hold in the soil of our earth. I was making a home for myself in the world. As I allowed myself to feel my emotions after a lifetime of fearing them, I began to grow straight and tall. Do you know that that seed grew into a tree over five feet tall? I left it for the new tenants at an apartment in Oakland after moving to a house. I hope they felt the love that had gone into tending it. I hope it inspired them.